


Shameless

by everystareverywhere



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-03
Updated: 2006-02-03
Packaged: 2019-05-15 23:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14799635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everystareverywhere/pseuds/everystareverywhere
Summary: Josh thinks about his relationship with Donna





	Shameless

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Shameless**

**by:** Joanna 

**Character(s):** Josh Lyman  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** General   
**Rating:** CHILD  
**Summary:** Josh thinks about his relationship with Donna  
**Written:** 2005-10-30  
**Author's Note:** The song `Shameless' is by Billy Joel and the whole story is from Josh's POV. 

*I'm shameless when it comes to loving you.  
I do anything you want me to, I'd do anything at all* 

How could she do this to me? How??? One minute I feel useless and then I talk to her or she smiles at me and I feel like I can control the world. 

Also she has this gift of making me do things I feel silly doing or I just plan out don't want to do. The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing, anyone? Come on, if she didn't get it into my head about her and skis, I would have picked out…okay so maybe I really didn't have a gift picked out for her. Maybe I was just going to wing it. Yeah, like that was going to work. 

*And I'm standing here for all the world to see,  
there is ain't that much of me, that is very far to fall* 

I mean, she's ruining my bulldog image. I'm supposed to be rough and tough and Mom once told me that when I'm around Donna, I turn into a golden retriever. 

Well, that just helped the old ego. 

Although Mom really likes Donna. What am I talking about, everyone likes Donna. I mean, how could you *hate* Donna? She's so nice and helpful and caring and…wait a minute I'm getting off topic. 

Donna, ruining image, me, that's what I was talking about. Okay I'm back on track. 

Anyway, how can I have a bulldog image when I'm throwing snowballs at her window, although that *was* really fun…I kept getting off topic. I have to stop that! 

*You know I'm not a man who's ever been  
insecure about the world I've been living in  
I don't brake easy, I have my pride  
But if you need to be satisfied* 

When I had my little um…sickness, Donna helped me out. She's the one who figured it out, did you know that? Before I even knew something was wrong, she had it figured out. 

Okay, I don't think she went to Leo and said "Leo I think Josh has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." `Cause if she knew that, I have to say, she extremely smart. 

Anyway, telling Stanley something was wrong was very hard for me to do. I mean it took *all* afternoon for him to get me to spill. And I have to say I felt like 100 times better, but that's when he said we're done. 

Wait a minute…I just began. 

And then when I came out of that room, there was Leo and Donna. Donna took me to the hospital, made sure I got home safe, than wanted to make sure I was okay, she slept on my couch, which isn't very comfortable, and then stayed all Christmas with me. 

Sometimes, I adore that woman. 

*I'm shameless, baby I don't have a prayer,  
anytime I see you standing there  
I go down upon my knees* 

She does the simplest things and I feel like, alive again. Like I just said she was with me that whole time. It was Christmas, she should have gone home, but no, she wanted to make sure *I* was okay. 

She's an angel. Sometimes if I look real closely, I can see the halo. 

Okay, I saw a picture of her that was taken when she was 5.She was an angel in a Christmas show. The photo just stayed in my head. 

But still. Sometimes, I can see it. 

*And I'm changing, swore I never compromise,  
but you convinced otherwise  
I do anything you please* 

When I first met Donna, I was dating Mandy. I shiver at the thought of Mandy. What the hell was I thinking? 

Anyway, like I said I first met Donna on the first campaign and when I saw her I thought to myself "Wow, did I win the jackpot". But then I found out she doesn't have a degree. 

It's not that I thought she was stupid or anything, it's just that well, I'm a graduate of both Harvard AND Yale, and well, she doesn't even have a college diploma. 

So I was just about to say `Thanks but no thanks' when she said, and I'll never forget those words, "Look. I think I can be good at this. I think you might find me valuable." 

She doesn't know how right she was that day. 

*You see in all my life I never found what  
I couldn't resist what I couldn't turn down  
I could walk away from anyone I ever knew,  
but I can't away from you* 

People always say things that happen, happen for a reason. I found that to be true, in some cases, not all. 

Leo made me go see Bartlet, and if I didn't, well than I would never had meant Donna. 

It's kind of hard to think that this one day changed your whole life. I mean, now I'm like how did I ever *live* without Donna? 

* I never let anything have this much control over me  
I work too hard to call my life my own* 

She's always telling me what I should do. I know, I know that's her job, but still, it's a little annoying. I mean she's telling me where to go and she *knows* that is where I am going so way does she have to tell me? 

Women. 

She's controlling my life and I hate it. 

Okay maybe, and this is a big maybe, I like it. 

Okay, now I can here my mother laughing all the way from Florida. 

Fine, I love it! I think it's great that Donna tells me what do to. Makes me feel like someone, who isn't related to me, cares so much. 

Happy? 

*And I made myself a world and it worked  
so perfectly, but it's your world now, I can't  
refuse, I never had so much to lose* 

For most of my life, I have had my own little world. It's a great world. Filled with politics and sports and music and a load of other things. 

Now, I find that Miss Donnatella Moss invaded that little world. 

Honest to God, I found Donna's things all over the place! *Her* music and *her* clothes and *her* whatever. And I really don't like it. 

Now I can hear CJ laughing, along with Toby and Sam. 

Well, that is just disturbing. 

It's not like I have a picture of Donna in my wallet…okay, but it's a regular size on. It's a bit smaller. But it's a good picture. She has the best smile, and beautiful eyes and…wait, I'm getting off subject, *again*. 

*You know it should be easy for a man  
who's strong to say he's sorry or admit  
when he is wrong* 

When Donna gets mad at me, which happens a lot, and then she becomes pissed I can never (never!) say the words "I'm sorry". I don't know why, all I know is I can't. It's like, it gets stuck in my throat and I end up saying something else. Example: "This not talking to you isn't working for me". See? I can't just come out and say I'm sorry. 

I wonder why. 

*I never lost anything I ever missed  
But I never been in love like this!  
It's out of my hands* 

She has this control over me. Really, I'm out on a date with a very attractive woman and I'm thinking `What is Donna doing right now? Is she still at work? Is she at home?' 

It's a little scary. 

I never ever felt like this before. Sure once I thought I was in love, this was before I ever heard the name Donnatella Moss. Turns out I wasn't. 

Mom once told me that love is like getting a grand slam, I was seven when she was telling me this so she put it in words I would understand. Anyway, love is like getting a grand slam, you're excited and you want to do it again and again. You have this feeling that finally, something happened to little old me. You only get this feeling once, but in baseball you can get more than one glad slam. I wanted to have this feeling, and I really didn't get it until Christmas 1999\. The year I gave Donna the book. I really was surprise when she gave me a hug and that was the first time I felt happy, like well, like if I had hit a grand slam. 

I love that feeling. 

*I'm shameless! I don't have the power  
now, but I don't want it anyhow,  
so I got to let it go  
And I shameless, shameless  
as a man can be, you can make  
a total fool of me* 

She sometimes gets me weak in the knees and when she gives me a pout, forget it! Whatever it is I'll give it to her. 

Examples: `Heimlich Beckengruber on The Art and Artistry of Alpine Skiing?', throwing snowballs at her window, taking her to the Christmas party so she can hear Yo-Yo Ma, talking to Commander Wonderful. All these different things. 

Amazing, I'm a master politician, but if my wife wants something and she gives me a pout, forget it, I give in. 

*I just wanted you to know* 

I flip over on the bed so I can look at Donna, who is totally asleep right now. She has her one arm under the pillow and the other is around my waist. 

I'm not going to wake her. She's seven months pregnant and she's so tired. Right now I'll just let her sleep. 

I lean over and give her a very light kiss on her forehead and say "I love you, Donna" 

And I fall asleep thinking that when I'm around Donna, I'm shameless. 


End file.
